Greatest Moments in Links Childhood
by Craze O Matic
Summary: Just as it says, first chapter now up. Note I own none of the characters, I have crude humor, and this take place during the timeline of WindWaker
1. Links first potty

Ok this is my first fic ever so gimme a break, I have crude humor and I own NOTHING! I don't own Link, his grandma, his little sister, or anyone else on outset Island.... They are all copyright to Nintendo....So don't hurt me....... ____________________________________________________________________________ ______  
  
One fine day on Outset island, all the folks where sitting around doing what they usually do. Orca was in his house thumping around and aggravating his older brother. The girl who carries water on her head was on her usual route. And the literally snot-nosed boy was running around like a maniac.  
  
Suddenly a loud shot of glee is heard, busting through the once quiet island and scaring the crap out of everyone. The pot dropped off the womans head and shattered causing her to walk all over it and cut her feet on accident. Orca and his brother too began to breath hard and found that it was actually Link.  
  
Link:"GRANDMA! GRANDMA! COME QUICK! I MADE POTTY IN THE TOILET!"  
  
Link was standing with a really big night shirt on and was jumping up and down like someone who's bum was on fire, a wide and proud grin on his face*  
  
*Links grandma came rushing in sweating alot and looking around frantically.*  
  
Link's Grandma:" Who? What? Where? When? And why?"  
  
*She continued to look around frantically and finally realized what was going, she smiled sweatly at Link and gave him a big hug*  
  
Link's Grandma:"Oh your such a big boy! You did potty all by yourself!"  
  
*She continues to squeeze the life out of him shaking him in a violent, yet loving manner and finally lets go looking for where he pottyed at*  
  
Link's Grandma:"Uh, dear? Where'd you go potty at?"  
  
*Links points proudly at a bowl with fruit sitting beside it, it was a large bowl, obviously carved from a HUGE coconut. Link's grandma's eyes widened as she stared at it, she then got a angry look on her face and turned to face Link*  
  
Link's Grandma:"YOU PEED IN THE FRUIT BOWL!?!?!?!?! WHY DID YOU DO THAT!?!?!? DIE!!!!!"  
  
*She suddenly ran over to Link, bent him over her knee, and starting pattling him like you wouldn't beleive. An insane look on her face, as if she was enjoying it. Loud screams poured from Link's mouth scaring the crap out of the villagers once more*  
  
Link:"OW! OW! OW!!!!! IT HURTS!!!!! PLEASE GRANDMA! QUIT PLEASE!!!! I'M SORRY!!!!!! I'M REALLY REALLY SORRY!!! WHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!"  
  
~And the beating continued all through the night and half way into the next day. Link's butt was red for three months, and he couldn't sit down on anything.....~ ____________________________________________________________________________ ______  
  
Wow, now thats a disfunctional family. Stay tuned for the next exciting: Greatest Moments in Link's Childhood. Events are not placed in the order they should be.... They are all posted when I come up with them. MWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! So stay tuned and don't pee in fruite bowls... 


	2. Links first pet

Ahhhhhhhh.... meesa back with a second chapter already. Idea courtesy of my dad. Anyway, I don't own link, his grandma, or anyone else in the Zelda games. They ish all copyright Nintendo and I'm grateful that they created him.... ____________________________________________________________________________ ______ Stupidy is a must have...  
  
*All the people of Outset Island are sitting peacefully on the beach today, watching the waves, the sea gulls, and ocotroks firing at them, and a really big bird circling around for some reason. All is peaceful and calm, until the door to Link's house comes open.*  
  
*Think comes hopping merrily out of his house, swing a rope tied to a small fist sized rock. He continues swinging it around his head, a palyful look on his face*  
  
Link:"YAAAAAAAAAY!!!!! I've got a new pet! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!"  
  
*He continues to swing it around his head and lets go, the pet rock goes flying towards the women who normally has a pot on her head. Ironically she still does, the rock flies right into it shattering it and causing clay to cut everyone. The rock falls to the ground infront of her, a smiley face painted on it. The women grabs the rock angrily and chucks it at Link's head. Link ducks and the rocks misses running into a coconut tree, knocking a few coconuts down, which fall on Link's head. It then bounces back off the tree and hits Link in the back of the head, knocking him down*  
  
Pot Lady:"STUPID KID!"  
  
*A few hours later Link wakes up and grasps the back of his head in pain, tears swelling in his eyes, the pet rock laying beside him. He grabs the rock and start petting it gently, a dumb smile on his face. He then begins to speak softly to the rock, as if trying to comfort it*  
  
Link"There there. I know you didn't mean to hurt me Mr. Rocky. Even if you did cause a crack to form in my skull I still love you...."  
  
*An evil and insane look appears on his face suddenly and he stands up, throwing the rock hard into the ground, which somehow bounces back up and smacks Link in the forehead. Link stumbles back, clutching his forehead*  
  
Link:"OW! STUPID ROCK!"  
  
*He runs and jumps, landing on top of the rock and cracking one of his foot bones, he falls back grasping his foot before picking the rock up angrily and chucking it 30 feet out to sea, hiting the fish*  
  
Link:"Sink darn you! Sink! Die !$%#@$! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!"  
  
*Link then gets up and limps back into his house, sobbing softly from all the pain, two blows to the head and a fractured foot. In time his wounds heal and more chaos insues*  
  
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Ok, that kid officially scares me. He needs to go see a counceler. Anyway, did ya like it? If so please let me know in a reveiw. If you have any ideas than please include them, and I would greatly appreciate some tips.lol I'm offly board and these are pretty much random thoughts... Stay tuned for the next chapter of Greatest Moments In Links Life. This episode being his first expeirence with badly injured bones... Brought to you by Guile the Hedgy. And remember, a full hedgy is a sarcastic hedgy^_^' Speaking of which Guile will be appearing in upcoming fictions in the Sonic area. 


	3. Links first REAL boo boo

Disclaimer: I don't own Zelda anything. Leave me alone! _______________________________________________________________________ *Ahhhh... another fine day on Outset Island, we find Link playing around in the forest ontop of the mountain*  
  
Link:WHEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! I'm playing around in the forest. I have a sword! *Picks up a stick* HA HA HA! TAKE THAT YOU EVIL MONSTER! *Starts to repeatedly hit a tree. Meanwhile som nearby Bokoblins hear it and come investigate*  
  
Boko#1: Hey! Whats that sound?  
  
Boko#2: Sounds like a kid with a stick hitting on a tree.  
  
Boko#1: Dude, thats weird...  
  
Boko#2: No its not. Your thoughts are just perverted. Lets go check it out. *Starts to walk over that way*  
  
Boko#1: -_- *Grumble grumble. Picks up a rock and chucks it at Boko#2's head making a direct it before following*  
  
Boko#2: Did you feel something?  
  
Boko#1: Nope. Not me. Hey, it is a kid with a stick, hitting on a tree.  
  
Boko#2: *Shouts loudly in triumph* HA! YOU OWE 300 RUPEES!  
  
Link: *Stops wacking the tree and looks the to Boko's* O.O'.... Help....  
  
Boko#1&2: HE'S SEEN US! KILL HIM!!!! *Proceed to chase Link around the forest area, throwing rocks at the back of his head and continous whacking him over the head with their sticks* DIE KID! DIE!!!!!!  
  
Link: OUCH! LEAVE ME ALONE! OWY!!!! *gets a huge rock thrown at him which knocks him out*  
  
Boko#1: TOUCHDOWN!!!!!  
  
Boko#2: Wrong game...  
  
Boko#1: Oh, sorry....  
  
3 weeks later...  
  
*Links wakes up to find his little sister yelling and screaming for him to wake up, as well as kicking him in the ribs and slapping the heck out of him*  
  
Aryl: WAKE UP YOU POOR PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A BIG BROTHER!!!!!!  
  
Link: OW! GET OFF ME! *Pushes her off and throws a rock at her, hitting her righ in the forehead knocking her out cold. Then finds that his legs and left arm in casts and his grandma walks in*  
  
Links Grandma:Your awake, and you finally made the terror shutup.  
  
Link: Grandma, what the heck happened to my arm and legs?  
  
Links Grandma: They were broken by the monsters that knocked you out. I sent a sea gull up there to find you at it saw the whole thing.  
  
Link: Ohhhh... Ok. *Falls back unconcious from the drugs he'd been given to ease the pain, which was enough to knock out three horses for four days each* _______________________________________________________________________ Ahhhhh...... short and stupid. Just the way I like it. Lemme know what you think in your reveiws. Suggestions greatly appreciated. R&R or I'll send Boko's 1&2 after you! 


End file.
